Why so many women choose to go on a retreat alone
"Will I be the only one coming on my own?" It's one of the questions we hear most before someone books. Almost always, the answer is no. For a lot of women, coming alone is the whole point.
Nobody needs anything from you
Think about the last week. You probably had all sorts of things going on. ‘Juggle’ may hardly scratch the surface. Maybe you rang the care home twice about your mum's medication, drove your youngest to a 7am swimming lesson, and answered work emails in the car park while you waited. Maybe your 24-year-old has moved back in "just for a few months" and you can’t keep the fridge stocked for a day. Or your husband has retired and is now home all day, asking what's for lunch at 11.
On retreat, meals appear at the table. Someone you just met a day ago hands you a cup of tea. Nobody asks where the charger is. For four days, nobody is needing anything from you. So you can get a proper break.
You get to be someone slightly different
When you go away with a friend or partner, your usual role comes too. You're the organiser, the one who checks the tickets and remembers the suncream. Alone, you can be quieter than usual, or sillier, or go to bed at half past eight without explaining yourself. After years of being "Mum", "the reliable one at work" or "the daughter who lives closest", it's surprising how good it feels to just be you.
Your friends aren't free, and that's fine
This is one of the most practical reasons. You mention a retreat to three friends. One is looking after her grandchildren on Tuesdays and Thursdays. One can't leave her dad for more than a night. One says "maybe next year", like she did last year. At some point, waiting for the diaries to line up becomes its own reason not to go.
People you’ve just met are easier to talk to
It sounds kinda odd, but conversations with people you've only just met often go a lot deeper, faster. There's no shared history, no mutual friends, no one who'll bring it up at the next school reunion. By the second evening, people tend to be still at the table after the plates have gone, talking about the divorce, the redundancy, the 3am wake-ups and the hot flushes in meetings. Things they haven't said out loud at home, often because everyone at home is part of the story.
You choose how much company you want
Coming alone doesn't mean being lonely. Our groups are small, usually 10 to 15 women, so you'll know everyone's name by the first lunch. You can join the morning swim, or stay on the terrace with a book and a second coffee. Or a cuppa in mind. Nobody minds what you choose.
What arriving alone actually feels like
The nervous bit is usually the drive to the airport, when a part of you asks what on earth you're doing. But that will go pretty fast. Before each retreat we set up a WhatsApp group so you can say hello beforehand, and Laura and I are there to meet everyone when you arrive. By the first session, you're part of the group.
If you've been waiting for someone else to free up before you book something for yourself, this might be the moment to stop waiting. Have a look at our upcoming retreats, or drop us a message. We're always happy to chat it through.
